Life is one long quote
by Save-a-broom-ride-the-player
Summary: Harry Potter one-shots and drabbles inspired by quotes from Jane Austen and Douglas Addams. They are all slash. mostly rare slash. all warnings apply. disclaimer: don't own it
1. Spies, Jane Austen

Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies

Disclaimer : I don't own but let me dream

Warning: slash, and mindless fluff.

Happy stuff: I got a new beta so thank Effrijim for the lack of mistakes missing in here.

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"Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies."-Jane Austen

Harry Potter walked through the hallways of Hogwarts, the buzzing murmurs of the people (mostly girls) around him following him wherever he went.

'What the hell did they find out this time?'

The "Boy Wonder" was annoyed. The last time he was stared at this much (there was usually staring but not so obviously) was when some girl insisted that he had slept with her. A small problem with that rumor was that he was openly gay.

Ever since he woke up that day people had been staring and whispering around him, no mater where he went. He could swear he heard the house elves muttering between themselves when he went to the kitchen. No mater where he went there was someone pointing, whispering and stealing (obvious) glances. He couldn't escape them; the people, house elves, ghosts. Their whispers followed in his wake. He had no idea of what they thought he did, so imagine his surprise when he saw the 'Daily Prophet' headline.

"Boy-Who-Lived found with Death-Eater-Wannabe"

And in the Prophet there was a picture (I knew it wasn't just the wind yesterday) of him and Draco in a very compromising (and satisfying) position.

Harry let the information sink in a little bit before looking at the name of the person who took the picture…

"COLIN CREEVEY YOU HAVE A FIVE SECON HEAD-START!"

Less than a second after Harry yelled this, a terrified Creevey boy could be seen running out of the Dinning Hall as fast as his feet could carry him. Once the Green eyed 6th year saw the 5th year he counted "1, 2, 5" and took of running faster than anybody had ever seen him, while Draco Malfoy was already outside, wand ready, for when the unlucky photographer passed by him on his way to the transfiguration class room.(1)

While passing by Colin was hit with a tripping hex courtesy of Draco Malfoy's wand. But before he could crawl away and/or beg for mercy a furious Harry Potter caught up to them eyes blazing and wand held in a firm grip. "What do you think Draco?" said the Savior of the Wizarding world him-self "Neon pink or lime-green". "I think both my dear" the only response Colin gave where whimpers as the two lovers slowly walked towards him.

The next day Harry was once again followed by the whispers but he knew why this time and it was far more pleasant since it wasn't because someone went into his private life once again, but because Colin Creevey was stuck to a wall in a (lime green) dress with a sign on his chest that said 'I will not snoop' while sporting an impressing bright mop of neon pink hair.

So, Harry Potter walked down the halls of Hogwarts once again with murmuring people surrounding him but this time instead of being annoyed he grinned and kissed his boyfriend openly for the first time.

1. ok this was originally in parenthesis but it was crossed out due to the fact that it distracted people from the story. The reason Draco knew Colin was going to the transfigurations class-room was because that is where most of the gryffindors went and hid when they knew they wouldn't be able to reach the common room as fast. Why? You may ask. Because its lion territory so slithering aren't likely to go in it just like the slytherins hid in the potions lab.

Hey please read and review. It makes me happy when you do con-crit is appreciated. It was my first pursuet scene so help me out with them. And again much thanks to my beta.

_**This is part of a series I just started of Harry Potter stories (mostly drabbles and fluff) inspired by Jane Austen and Douglas Addams quotes. So stick around.**_


	2. Ancestors, Douglas Addams

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner

_Warning: It's a Siri/Harry/Sev fic all standard warnings for that pairing apply_

_Hello people I hope you like this and review or else it will just be a two-shot. And if that isn't enough motivation think about this TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!! Would you like to make it extra special by reviewing?_

_Disclaimer: Don't own don't sue_

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**Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner. - Douglas Addams**

Harry potter walked through one of the deserted corridors in his manor, angry and painful thoughts filling his head. He was sick and tired of people comparing him to his father. 'I'M NOT MY BLOODY FATHER!! Why can't those two see that'.

Ok rephrase that original thought; He was sick and tired of Sirius and Severus comparing him to his father. As much as he loves the stories of his father (excluding the ones including Severus) and as much as he loved reminding Sirius of happier times and long forgotten memories with little actions he then finds out his father did, he wanted to be seen for who he was, not who sired him. Nor because of that stupid title he got when that sire was killed

He wanted the two men he loved most in his life to stop seeing him as his father's son (or in the slytherin's case 'The Prat's insufferable spawn'). He fell in love with the two raven-haired men, who had started dating each other a year ago next month. He fell for the two most impossible, wonderful, hard-headed people in existence. Both of whom are two decades older than him and see him as nothing more than the "prongslet" ,even after he killed Voldemort. The absolutely worst part is that one of them keeps trying to set him up with Ginny and any other girl (or boy) that passes by.

"Prongslet you need to get your-self a girl; Someone to take up all that space in that big heart of yours. How 'bout you ask Ginny out? I'm sure she'll say yes in a heartbeat," Harry muttered bitterly, mimicking Sirius "Oh sure Padfoot, I'll just forget the fact that I'm gay _and_ have fallen completely head over heels over you and your current boy-friend" the Man-Who-killed Voldemort stated with an incredible amount of sarcasm in a sarcastically chipper voice

"yeah that's going to go over well with Sirius, or better yet, Severus. I'm in love with you and my god-father, so if you would just forget that James was my father and let me jump into bed with you we could live happily ever after," the green-eyed twenty year old snorted ungracefully after that one, "Yeah, I'm sure Severus is going to go for that, when I turn into a pink and purple polka-doted octopus".

The last Potter kept walking along the supposedly empty corridors of his home coming up with the most ridiculous ways of confessing his love to the two ex-enemies. His favorite method so far, was tying himself onto their bed while wearing nothing but a sign that said " For: Sirius and Severus with much love James' son". He figured that at least in that one they would know who it was from since that was all they saw him as. 'Or better yet' he thought cynically, "Sirius, I'm completely in love with you and Sev and would like to shag the both of you Silly if that's alright? Of course you would be allowed to call me James' son the whole time since neither one of you knows me as 'Harry'."

A delicate snort stopped him from continuing his rant. Harry froze mid-step with wide eyes as the deep sensual voice of Severus Snape filled the hallways.

"You now brat, as much as I enjoy following you around your manor while you practice ways of professing your love to me and you dog-father, I really must tell you to be more aware of your surroundings."

Harry's heart plummeted. He wasn't supposed to hear that!

Well, if he was to be honest to himself, no-one was. He himself didn't want to think about it, or wish that anything he had said before would work. His reasoning was that he wasn't supposed to feel that way towards them; Heshouldn't have even begun thinking of confessing any romantic feeling or at least no-one was supposed to have heard it.

"Wh- I mean –how no I-I'm-… I can explain" Harry stumbled over his words trying to figure out how he _could_ explain. It wasn't every day the object of your affections walked in on you saying you want to shag them silly.

"I don't think this needs much explaining, do you Sev?" Another deep baritone came from a little ways behind Severus.

"No, I think we got the message loud and quite clear." Harry could almost hear the smirk in the potions master's amused voice. The green eyed man turned around to face both gorgeous men, sporting the deepest blush he had ever had.

"Yes. Well, I mean-no I j-j-just.."

"Want to shag us? Make sweet love until the morning every night with Sev and me? " Sirius finished Harry's sentence amusement clear in his voice.

"Yes, I-I mean no! I mean," The boy-wonder sighed and shook his head, "Please don't hate me. "

That confused both older men; why would they hate him? , They were quite in love with the boy actually. Sirius had been trying to find out if he was straight or not to see if they could make their move, but the boy would not give him a straight answer (so to speak). Whenever he brought the topic of liking someone Harry would deny, deny, deny. How the hell was he supposed find out his orientation that way! He'd even gone with the whole 'you know the wizarding world is a very accepting place ,Harry' route. Harry Potter, in his opinion, should have been in Slytherin. Because he is one of the few people Sirius knows that can answer any question you ask him in such a roundabout way that you never know the answer! Before walking in on Harry's little monologue, Sirius was close to just snogging him senseless and waiting to see if the young-man punched him or kissed back.

This is why Sirius very eloquent reply to Harry statement was…

"Huh?" He knew he would be teased mercilessly for that later by Severus (and not in a good way) but at this point he was beyond caring, why would anyone hate Harry? The idea was to foreign to even process. His train of thought was, however, interrupted by the smooth and addictive voice of his surly lover.

"What the idiot here is trying to say Harry, is why on earth would we hate you? We have been both trying to find out your… sexual preference for a while now, to see if you would maybe be… interested in us. But, between you changing the topics and us being distracted, by you we have gotten absolutely no-where."

The should-be-Slytherin's brain was having a hard time digesting the newly given information. So far the only thing in the un-knowing seductor's head right then was …

'Like.. How…is is?...no…but…said…Arghhhhh'

"Harry."

The young man had obviously not heard his godfather and kept repeating similar words in his otherwise completely malfunctioning brain.

"I think we've shocked him into a mental-meltdown," The animagus glared at the chuckling dungeon bat,

"I think I'd take more than a love-confession to melt-down anything in that thick skull of his"

"Shut up Sev! Help me fix him!"

The dungeon's low throaty laugh filled the halls again.

"So incredibly not funny, I think we broke Harry!!" The handsome pureblood's voice was nearing hysterical now.

"Oh quit your whining you mangy dog, I'll fix it."

And surely enough one non-verbal spell later Harry J. Potter was startled out of his state of shock by the water that fell on him by the spell.

A bit of sputtering on Harry's part and quick drying charm later Harry seemed to have found his voice.

"So… you _don't _hate me?"

"No" both Sirius and Severus had decided to answer in small words.

"And you would like to be _with _me'

"Yes." Sirius' voice was once again tinted with amusement at the younger one's expense.

"Ok, so umm… would you like to stay for dinner then?" The cheeks of the young man turned to a light pink hue after asking the question.

"As long as the offer to 'shag us silly' still stands afterwards." the only reply Severus got was a completely red Harry Potter nodding fervently.

And so after a very pleasure filled night, they all lived happily ever after…. Or as happily as a Boy-who-lived a Dog-father and a dungeon bat could possibly be.

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Once again please review it'll make this a very happy birthday.


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